Happy Career Formula with Jette Stubbs

8. How to network and build relationships with authenticity, without feeling fake (Part 2)

March 31, 2021 Jette Stubbs Season 1 Episode 8
Happy Career Formula with Jette Stubbs
8. How to network and build relationships with authenticity, without feeling fake (Part 2)
Show Notes Transcript

How do you network without feeling fake? On todays show, we'll get into the "how-to" of how I went from landing in a new country with 0 connections to building out a network for work and play.

If you want to learn more, book a call or ask a question, visit: jettestubbs.com

8. How to network without feeling fake (Part 2)

 So welcome back . This is part two of how to network with confidence. That's not the exact title, but the first part was really focused on. How to feel comfortable with yourself when you get out there and network. I know a lot of people, when they start networking, they'll start to get panic attacks.

[00:00:18] They'll feel nervous, uncomfortable.  I wanted to give you tools to see things differently. And today what I want to do is I want to give you practical tools to act. I want to start off by  debunking a myth about where success actually comes from. 

[00:00:34]Jette Stubbs: You're listening to the happy career formula 

[00:00:37] with Jette Stubbs 

[00:00:38] where we talk about how to find what you love to do and turn it into ways to make money, whether that's a job, freelance service or a business, so you can live life on your own terms. 

[00:00:49]  So you were taught the wrong blueprint for success, and that hits the foundation of every issue you've ever had building out your career, building out a business. Whether you're looking for a job, freelance service or business, you were taught the wrong foundations for success and how it works. Most of us were taught.

[00:01:09]Work hard plus education equals success. And so we're willing to spend like up to potentially hundreds of thousands on education so that we can access better opportunities.  But there are so many people who graduated from university with good grades who still struggled to find work.

[00:01:26] There are so many people who feel as if their degrees are just pieces of paper that are useless. Many have debt from school while they struggled to find work. Many never work in the field. They studied for four years or more, many people who have PhDs make less money than people with bachelor's degrees.

[00:01:44] So maybe education in and of itself. Isn't the solution. And I'm not saying don't go to university or don't pursue post-secondary education. I'm saying I want to give you tools today to think differently about how success works and how networking works and how you can feel authentic when you're doing it.

[00:02:06]And the blueprint we really should have been taught is to solve problems that people or companies care about and ask for money and financial benefits in return. That is the key or the path to success, financial success. So you'll hear stories About things like Mark Zuckerberg, or bill Gates quitting school and starting this organization to become super successful.

[00:02:32] What they actually had done was found a problem that a large portion of the world could benefit from and then put that out into the world. And then they asked for financial resources in return.  

[00:02:42] Anytime you're paying for something you're paying to add value to your life. You're either paying to be taken away from something negative or towards something positive.

[00:02:50] So any time you're making money, it's not happening in a silo. If you went and you lived in the middle of the woods, where there were no people around you and you didn't have access to internet, how would you make money? You couldn't because to make money, there needs to be a transaction with another person.

[00:03:10] To make money, you need to have a relationship or a network, but the thing is when you're going out and you're building out those relationships and those networks, you don't want to feel uncomfortable. You don't want to feel inauthentic. You want to feel like you were being true to who you are and what you have to bring.

[00:03:25] You're not dragging the other person along in the conversation. So how do you make that a reality? That is what we're going to talk about today.

[00:03:33] So when I think about building a network, when I think about creating success, and when I think about education, I think of education as a tool and not the pathway to success. Hard work is your tool and not your path. There were a lot of people who work very, very hard and never really make it out of poverty or never make it out of paycheck to paycheck, lifestyle.

[00:03:57]If you want to be successful, hard work is one of the tools that you're going to use. Education is one of the tools that you're going to use, but really you need something else. So I want you to think about all the people that, who you think of as successful. Just take a moment. Visualize some super successful people in your mind, and then visualize some people who are close to you, who you've known, who you've touched before, probably pre COVID, who you think of as successful. and  okay, just to keep them in your mind. 

[00:04:32]When you think about success, do these people have higher education or degrees? Because really what that is, is learning from people who have done what you've done or something similar before you AKA the experts. So when you go to a degree, when you go to a university and you are trying to learn something, universities essentially gather around a bunch of people who are supposed to be super knowledgeable on a topic and say, teach the next generation and we'll pay you. And they will pay us. The university just facilitates the classrooms and the education. 

[00:05:03] So they're bringing together a network of experts and then they're charging you for it to have access to that network. So you could be considered more knowledgeable and then have a degree which represents a standardized level of education and say, yes, you know this much about this particular topic, but the thing is universities often lose track of what people really want in terms of.

[00:05:26]  Most people go to university because they want to build out a career, but universities  give you education. The education doesn't have to be directly tied to a career. A lot of people graduate with degrees in fields that they never ended up working in because universities don't track. Are people still hiring in this field?

[00:05:42] Is this in demand?   They do track it, but they don't fully track it in a way that is meaningful enough to you as an individual. They don't plan your career for you. So again, think about that when it's, when you're saying having higher education or degrees, and you're seeing that as a marker of success, what that person really did is they went out and learned from people who have done similar things to what they want to do, who have achieved success, or learn the knowledge that they want to learn.

[00:06:09] So you can do that outside of a university environment, but sometimes it's helpful. Well, because you're paying to tap into pre-built networks that were supposed to be designed for your success within a university or within post-secondary. 

[00:06:23] And then the second marker that people often think of when they think of successful people is people who read books or who self-educate. And again, that's people who have the habit of learning from people who have done what you want to do and, or similar things before you. These are the experts. So  when an author creates a book, they're putting down their knowledge into book, form and paper form so that it can be passed on to future generations.

[00:06:50] And when you are thinking of someone who reads books as being super smart, you're thinking, Oh, you are listening to the people who have come before us. You are learn from the people who have come before us. And that is what makes you intelligent because you are now gathering all of the information from, I don't know if ancestors is the right word, but from our history, from people who have tried to live life before us, and you've learned the mistakes that they've made, you've learned the things that they've done well, and the things that they've done poorly so that you can go and make more informed decisions. That's what you're saying. When you say, Oh, that person reads a lot of books, so they're super quote, unquote smart. 

[00:07:29] So the next piece is when you say someone leads people and that makes them successful. Getting teams of people to expand your skills, your time and your effort beyond what you can do on your own to achieve a goal that is what leading a team is. 

[00:07:48] So you are gathering a group of people you're giving them a vision you're giving them, or you're asking them as a group. What do you want the vision to be? And you create this North star, a guiding star that helps everybody work in the right direction. Everybody knows what they're supposed to be working towards.

[00:08:05] And when you're leading people. So let's say you are an entrepreneur and you want to grow your business and you want to hire teams. When you are hiring teams, you have a vision of where you want to go and you're hiring this person right to help fill a task, fill a particular gap in your knowledge, maybe you don't have enough time to do the work.

[00:08:26] Maybe you know how to do the work, but just don't have enough time. Maybe you have the time, but you don't know how to do the work and you don't want to spend the time learning how to do it. An example would be , if I were, if I wanted, I dunno, like a surgery , I wouldn't go and learn how to do surgery and then trying to perform surgery on myself.

[00:08:42] No, I'd go and reach out to my networks and say, who is a good surgeon that can do this surgery for me? Or I'd go to a hospital, which is a network of healthcare professionals. And I would say, okay, can some, one of these people help me? So it's all about these networks.   

[00:08:57]when you're leading people , So let's say  you're leading teams of people to expand your skills. You're tying your effort beyond what you can do on your own to achieve a goal. They know something you don't, they have time to do something that you don't have the time to do, and they have effort and energy and they're adding and expanding on your dream and your vision, and they're helping to perfect your dream and your vision, because 

[00:09:21] then the other piece of that is when you think of people who make a lot of money, those are people who are going out there and helping the world. So they're convincing people, clients, or companies to pay them money because those people, clients, or companies trust that their problems will be solved. So anytime you're making money, there is that transaction. 

[00:09:44] So if you become an entrepreneur, And that's not, I'm not saying that's where you're going necessarily. There's nothing wrong with working a regular job and working for a company there's nothing wrong with working a nine to five. There's nothing wrong with working for a company, but having more flexibility in doing consulting. And there's nothing wrong with starting a business, there are pros and cons to each scenario. And depending on your lifestyle and your life goals, you may choose a different path. So when you're building out this network and you're looking for people to pay you.

[00:10:16] And if you ever considered becoming an entrepreneur, one of the things that you'll be dealing with is you will be trying to meet the needs of your clients so your clients can pay you money, but you'll also be trying to support your team in helping you support those clients. And you'll need to give them tutoring, tools , a guiding vision and a mission and tasks that they need to complete so that they can help you in supporting those clients.

[00:10:43] And that's where things can get tricky.  When you think of Somebody who's built a successful business. That's getting teams of people to expand your skills and effort to achieve a goal while also convincing people to pay you because they trust you to solve their problems. So that's a really dynamic process.

[00:11:03] It gets more and more dynamic as you switch from a job to more of an entrepreneurship approach. One of the things I want to talk to you about today is like the journey that I went through in networking, because when I started in a lot of people, Depending on where they meet me from, because I can be super quiet sometimes like ridiculously quiet.

[00:11:23] I just won't say a word I'll chill in the background. I'm very comfortable with silence.  Then other times I'll be very friendly and very bubbly and it's just I'm introverted. So it's nothing that I'm doing. Like, Oh, I don't like this person. Or I do like this person. It actually depends on my mood.

[00:11:38] And sometimes I need to mentally prep to be like, okay, I'm going to go into this very engaging people environment. So networking and building a relationship. When I moved to Canada was super hard. And I had to really start from scratch. I didn't know anybody. And I remember when I went to my dad and I was like, okay, daddy, you're going to take me to Canada.

[00:12:03]None of us, nobody in the family's ever been to Canada before. Um, but you're gonna take me to Canada and you're just going to stay with me for three days and then you're going to leave and you're never going to come back. Uh, can you stay a bit longer? And I was just like, Please, can you stay a bit longer?

[00:12:19] I didn't know what was going through my dad's head. I didn't realize that he was dealing with the financial pressure of the fact that, and this is way beyond this podcast, but somebody had spent my college fund. And so now he was trying to make money to pay for my tuition out of pocket every year.

[00:12:37] Um, and it was something that he'd always promised me. So I didn't know this backstory. At the time, but what he was, what he said was I can't help you. When you get to Canada, I don't know how to dress for the cold weather. I've never been to university. I I'm giving you the finances and the resources, but you are going to have to take advantage of this opportunity and you're going to have to figure it out.

[00:13:02] And you are going  build a network. I'm not worried. He said he was not worried about me building a network. And I was like, you don't know that? I mean, I didn't shout at him cause you can't disrespect your parents, but. You didn't shout at him, but I said, okay, you don't know that, like you don't know that I'm going to be able to build a network.

[00:13:19] And he said, yes, I do. Because. I know that when people see you as a young 17 year old woman alone in a country, people are going to come and offer to help you. And all I want you to do is try and keep track of the people who have offered to help you along the way. So that if I can, if I have the financial resources, I can thank them at some point.

[00:13:45] And so. I was just like, okay. I was super nervous. I was scared. I think in my head, my primary focus was I'm just going to a country and my parents are going to leave me in three days and I'm going to have to figure this all out.  So I landed in Canada and I. Decided I wanted to go a bit early so I can get used to the environment and I come from a small Island, so I knew it would be weird navigating a big country and navigating like a university that was bigger than any  building or complex that I had really seen or experienced at the time. So. I wanted to go early. And when I arrived, the, resident assistants and the RAs and the dorm coordinators were there and they were the only people in the building.

[00:14:36] And I remember when my dad was leaving, he said, I didn't expect this room to look so depressing. It was just, it was dark. And there was this little small window. And he was like, You couldn't get a better room. And I was like, I have never been here. How would I know that this is what the room was like, it was super depressing.

[00:15:02] Um, and he was like, you're still going to be okay. And my mom was like, you're going to be okay. My. My younger brother was with me and he was getting ready to do this whole process a year after I was, but I went to London, Ontario, and he's going to Halifax.  So I was just outside of Toronto. He was just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia for him. 

[00:15:24] And I just was really. Lost like lost and confused. And I was like, how am I going to build out this network? And so I'm going to walk you through the journey that I went through from that day, that point in time to present day, and having a network and building out relationships and the lessons that I learned along the way.

[00:15:45] So. The first thing that I learned was your networks can come in a variety of different sources. So my dad was adamant that somebody was going to offer to teach me how to buy clothes in Canada. In my first couple of weeks, maybe by my second month in the dorm, as it started to get cold, one of my classmates and dorm mates said, do you have winter clothes or a winter coat?

[00:16:11] And I said, no, and offered to take me shopping with her best friend. And we went to the mall and they taught me how to buy like a winter wardrobe. And it was,  the first real act of kindness and then invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at her parents' home so that I wouldn't be stuck in the dorms by myself.

[00:16:34] And it was just this. Slow like building. And I do remember when I did talk to my dad, I say, you know, somebody invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and he was like, see, I told you, people are going to offer to help you. But I really struggled with adjusting to a new country.  It was really cold. I didn't know that I had food allergies at the time, and I actually like developed sores on my skin.

[00:16:57]My cheeks became like blistered and like the first layer of skin peeled off. So it showed like a red, raw skin. It was, that was painful. And I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I didn't even  initially think, Oh, just go to the doctor. I didn't know where to go and find a doctor.

[00:17:18] Um, there were just so many I don't knows.  So then I started going to classes . I went back home, saw my parents for the winter holidays. And when I came back in January, it was still brutal. I remember I was crying on my way to the airport and like silently , I didn't make any noise. What my dad saw my tears and my mom saw my tears from the rear view mirror as they were driving me to the airport.

[00:17:45] And I just, I couldn't. I didn't want to go, but I felt like I would be dishonoring them. If I said that I didn't want to go back. And I figured I'd only given it four months. Let me try, let me do everything that I know helps to build a network in a new place. And then I can say, okay, I've tried, I've been there.

[00:18:06] I've done this. Now. If I choose to give up, I can say I put my full foot forward. So when I went back to classes, I remember I had a professor reach out and ask me. Not me specifically. Actually, I think he did ask me specifically, but he also asked the class at large what the international student experience like was that our school and how many of us had negative experiences.

[00:18:29] And I remember quite a few people raised their hand and said they were really struggling and I was one of them. He said at the end of it, come up and speak to me and talk to me about what your experience is, because I'm just learning about this, but I want to  find out if there are ways that we could help.

[00:18:45] even though this offer was made, I didn't reach out. And this is a really important lesson to learn. So even though an offer was made, I did not reach out. 

[00:18:56]I also, I had a different professor. Speak in front of a class. And he said,  That we needed to start networking now because all of our peers in that classroom will become our networks. So this is something that I really took to heart later on, because one of the things that I've realized is you can meet clients.

[00:19:16] You can meet employers, you can meet people who can give you access to opportunities almost anywhere. So I have had people I've met on like Tinder. Five years ago, come to me and say, Hey, I want to pay for your coaching, or I want to access your coaching and gain opportunities. I have had people I've met on like other dating apps become like an audio engineer or help me build out pieces of my business because I learned about their skillset.

[00:19:42] And I said, Hey, do you want to do this transaction as well? Like do this business transaction. That sounds weird, but relationships can come from surprising places, like truly surprising places and your network, isn't this fake network or fake relationship that you have at some networking event.

[00:20:02] It's you going out and actually reaching out to people and saying, Hey, can I help you? So you want to shift your mindset when you're networking and you want to ask people, what are you looking for? What do you want to achieve in your life? What are things that you're interested in and just start connecting people who have similar interests, get them talking to each other.

[00:20:22] If you are constantly asking people what their goals are, where do they want to go? What are some things that you're working on in your life? What are some hobbies that you're interested in? What are some things that you're watching on television? And then you start connecting people. First of all, you want to surround yourself with people who are more open to connecting.

[00:20:39] There are some groups in social circles you can be in that are very clique-ish. So I have some friends that are like that they don't like really networking, or mingling outside of their social circles. They don't like. Venturing out and doing new activities. And I've literally had to tell them like, listen, I love you.

[00:20:55] You were always going to be my friend, but I'm in the process of building out new relationships and new networks of friends that are more like outgoing and more adventurous so that I can do these sorts of activities with them. And then in the process of me building out that network, first of all. I don't remember what year, but within a year after I told them that they came to a birthday slash going away party for me. And they were like, where are all these people from? Like, where do you know all these people? And I said this is just one of the parties that I had because I couldn't fit everybody who I had gotten to know into one social group, because I had been so intentional.

[00:21:32] I said, okay, I love storytelling. I'm going to go and do storytelling. And I built this. Huge network of people who are really amazing. They're in the storytelling community. 

[00:21:42] Then I had the secondary network of people. Who were into like salsa dancing, kizomba and bachata  and all these different styles of dance that I like.

[00:21:52] But these people all have professional careers too. So when I'm talking with them and they asked me about what I do, people have referred people to me for business. They said, Oh you can collaborate. Oh, I think you should meet this person. I didn't know you did that. I've just been dancing with you for the last six months, every Sunday.

[00:22:08] But we haven't been talking about the professional side of things. It's not this fake relationship. It's about understanding that everybody you meet is in this process of creating this tension between where they are and where they want to be, and filling in that tension or filling in that gap. They're in the process of filling in that gap between where they are now and where they want to be.

[00:22:30] And they know a bunch of other people who are in the process of filling in that gap between where they are now and where they want to be. And so your job is to help them. Is to tell them the types of gaps that you feel, tell them how you help people, the types of problems that you solve, and then listen to what they do.

[00:22:48] Listen to what they talk about their friends  wanting. And this is actually how you start to develop career ideas or business ideas. It doesn't have to be this one-sided. I want a job from you cause that's not going to work. It's going to feel awkward for you, awkward for the person. You're going to feel like that bad sleazy salesperson.

[00:23:07] You don't want to do that. So let's just approach this a little bit differently. Honestly, it's as simple as switching from saying, I want, I want a job. I want you to give me something I'm reaching out to you and trying to network or build a relationship with you. So you can give me something to saying I want to help. So what are some problems that you're experiencing? What are some goals that you're trying to achieve in your life?

[00:23:32] Tell me a bit more about what you're trying to do and either saying. Hey, I'm going to connect you with somebody  who I just thought of in my network, who I think would be helpful or so that's 

[00:23:42] option one saying you can connect them with somebody. If it's a genuine connection that you think could be helpful, which I do all the time 

[00:23:48]option 2 saying, okay, well, I'm going to keep that in mind.

[00:23:53] And whenever I come across somebody that has a similar interest, then I'll make sure that I can connect you. So can I get your contact information? Because I think what you're doing is super interesting and I'd love to be able to connect you with anybody who I think can help further what you're doing or help further your goals or help solve your problem or help you achieve or get to where you want to go to in life.

[00:24:13] And then the third option is say, Oh, that's really interesting. Did you know that I help with this? And then you want to put in the, I help statement. So you want to say something like, I help people who are struggling with this by offering this product service skills, qualifications experience so they can achieve whatever. 

[00:24:35] So  I've several versions of it, but  I help new entrepreneurs, seasoned professionals and recent graduates to narrow down what they love to do into a career or a business idea, and then sell themselves with confidence, whether that's for a job, freelance service or business. And so I offer a podcast online courses and coaching to help them find what they love to do and sell themselves with confidence. 

[00:25:04] So you wanted to have some sort of, I help statement together and really help you when you're getting ready to network.

[00:25:11] When people ask you, what do you do, or who do you want to help? You want to have a few versions of this? I help statement it doesn't need to be totally rehearsed. Like my own doesn't come out perfectly every time. But once I do say it, it is very helpful. And then at the end of the, I help statement, you want to talk about a  a few key examples, or. Trust markers or success markers. So one of the things I'll say is I have done,  career development, coaching, career development, career coaching, and entrepreneurship support across over 40 industries. And I've worked with people from entry-level to C-suite executives and new entrepreneurs, and I've helped people to increase their salary up to three times their income while working with them.

[00:25:52]Those are a few key things, that show, okay. She doesn't just do this. She really adds value while she does it. So what are some key, like trust markers, some key success metrics, some things that you can put forward, even if that saying like you just graduated from this program or you've done things maybe in your volunteer work

[00:26:11]What are some things that you can put forward to say you've developed some of the skills, qualifications experience, testimonials and stories relevant to helping you achieve that goal? 

[00:26:22] So another thing that I'll often tell people is when I graduated from university, I had 90 days to find a job or leave the country. And I went from a 0% response rate to a 70% response rate. Now I help new entrepreneurs, seasoned professionals and recent graduates who are trying to find what they love to do and sell themselves with confidence, whether that's for a job, freelance service or business, because  when I reached out and I wanted to start a business, I realized that the principles for finding what you love to do and selling yourself with confidence, don't change, whether you want a job, a freelance service or a business.

[00:26:52]Let's break that down first. There's an origin story. There are different types of stories that you can use. You can tell a story from your own story of your process of getting into this field, and you can tell that story in two to three sentences, which is what I did when I said, when I graduated from university, or you could tell a story about when you heard about somebody talking about a problem, or maybe you did some research and you found oh, that there's this huge gap in the market. how did you find out the problem existed? How did you become aware of it? There are different types of stories that you can tell that help to engage people. 

[00:27:25]Then you would go into an I help statement. And then you would use a few trust markers. So if you prepare this kind of elevator pitch to talk about yourself and you can give it in like two minutes or less. Often, it's less than a minute that it takes to tell this elevator pitch about who you are. 

[00:27:42] So elevator pitch, if you haven't heard that term, it comes from the concept of imagine you were to go in an elevator and you only had that elevator ride to convince somebody to want to talk to you more. Or to want to work with you, what would you say during the elevator ride?

[00:27:56] And that is the pitch that you want to say when people say, what do you do? And it's okay that you're just repeating it when you speak to different people, because that's new information to that person, you will feel like you're repeating yourself over and over. But as long as that person is new and they haven't heard that message before, then that's new information to them.

[00:28:13] It also helps people to remember when you do repeat it. And so if you do have a statement that's more or less the same. Really helps people to remember what you're doing.

[00:28:24] Now, with that being said, sometimes you don't have a full grasp on what you want to do or who you want to help. And at that point, when you're talking about yourself at networking events is you want to say, okay, well, this is, these are the skills that I bring forward.

[00:28:40] And these are the types of problems that I like solving. That's a more general way.

[00:28:44]  You're going to be a lot more successful when you start to narrow down that I help statement and you have something that people can use to visualize and see how you add value.

[00:28:57]Okay. So let's go back to my story of how I grew out my network. The next big moment happened for me. The next moment was when I was moving apartments.  I was by myself. in Canada still didn't have a network, anything like that. And I had to figure out how to move apartments.

[00:29:16]One of my friends, who I had invited to come back to  my country with me. She said her parents were asking, how was I going to move? Cause they were planning her move and they were like, How is she going to move? She doesn't have any family here.

[00:29:31] She doesn't have any parents to help her move. Like, how is she doing this? And so I said, well, I don't know. I may have to hire a movers or like, I'm actually not sure. I'm trying to figure it out the same way you are. I just have nobody helping me figure it out with me. And so they offered to take all of my stuff.

[00:29:48] They said, just pack everything in boxes and give us the keys and we'll move everything for you. And that was a huge moment, but that piece with the network is really important. So I had people were thinking about the types of problems that I was experiencing, but I also found that once I was going out and saying, Hey, I'm struggling with this.

[00:30:10] People would then offer ways to help. A lot of times we just deal with problems on our own and  we internalize them and we don't talk about them. And that's why that last episode is so important to think about the fact of not internalizing your issues, but actually saying, Hey, I'm trying to do this.

[00:30:25] Do you have any advice on how I can solve this problem? And when you're going out and looking for advice for people being strategic about who you take your advice from, are you taking it from somebody who's been where you want to go? Have they done what you want to do? Are they a few steps ahead of you?

[00:30:42] Or are they speaking from a place of confidence in, Hey, I've done this before. This is some advice that I could give you or are they speaking from a place of fear? I've never done this. And so you should never do this too.  These are things that you want to think about when you're building out the network that you're going to choose.

[00:30:56] And there are few types of networks that you want to build. So you want to build a network of mentors. You want to build a network of people who are a few steps or several steps ahead of you that you would listen to and that you would learn from. So there may be those people who are like gigantic leaps and bounds, like mountains.

[00:31:13] And like countries ahead of you who may be like millionaires and billionaires and you listened to their podcast, or you absorb their content or you watch them on YouTube or you read their books, that's one type. But then there are also mentors that you can have. They're a few steps ahead of you like five steps, two steps. They're right ahead of you. They just did what you want to do. And so they can give you advice from the standpoint of somebody who's just been there and  done that, and knows how it works in a recent context. 

[00:31:42] Then their networks that you want to have that are like colleagues, mentors, who are trying to do what you want to do.

[00:31:47] So for example, when I branched out into entrepreneurship, since most of my friends aren't entrepreneurs, I had to build out a network of people who are dealing with the same obstacles around entrepreneurship, that I was. People that I could talk to about some of the isolation that comes when you're working behind a computer desk all the time.

[00:32:03] Cause it sounds wonderful, but really you're trying to problem solve all these problems. And you're not really talking to other people as you're solving these problems all the time. And so you can go down this like mental rabbit hole where you feel stuck. There's this messy middle of this entrepreneurship journey where you feel like you are only supposed to talk about the successes, but really you want to talk about everything in between so you can become more successful.

[00:32:25] I had to build a network of people who were on that journey too. So I can reach out and say, Hey, can I bounce these ideas off of you? Can I talk with somebody else out loud who kind of understands this or has some knowledge, or has, is on this journey with me? So you want to build out these networks of people who are, like on the journey with you. 

[00:32:44] Then you want to build out another network that is your clients or who, people who can pay you. People who have the problem that you want to solve. You want to build out a network, where are they hanging out? Where can you go out and reach out to them? How can you talk to them?

[00:32:58] How can you. Find groups of people who have the problem that you want to solve. And often you can speak to one person and then he can connect you with other people. Hey, I do this. 

[00:33:08] Or for example,  with this podcast, I reached out to people on LinkedIn and I said, hey, when I graduated from university, I had 90 days to find a job or leave the country.

[00:33:17] And now I've done career coaching and entrepreneurship coaching in over 40 industries. And I'm creating this podcast with free content that I wish I had in the beginning.  I graduated as a first-generation and international student during a recession. You are graduating during a pandemic.

[00:33:34]There are a lot of similarities and the struggles that we will experience. Yes, it's different situations. A pandemic is a different ball game, but there's similarities in the tools I use to build out a career with no connections that you could also use as well. So yeah. From there. I had people reach out to me and actually say, thank you for reaching out to them, like cold messaging them.

[00:33:56] I had people say, thank you for cold messaging them and pitching them on my podcast because they saw that I was there to help. So it doesn't have to feel like this inauthentic thing. 

[00:34:09]What are you genuinely trying to do to help that organization, to help those clients? And that's going to be how you can reach out and build your network of clients.

[00:34:17] So we talked about networks and mentors. We talked about networks with like colleagues and peers. We talked about networks of clients, right? 

[00:34:24] Then you want to build out like your social support system, like friends, family, loved ones. You want to have healthy relationships around you. You don't want to be so involved in building out your career, that you don't focus on the relationships that matter in life because in the longterm, what you're really going to care about and what really is going to matter to you when you're dying, when you're 70 plus, and you have all the money you need. and you're living your life to its fullest. You're going to want to live it with other people. So who are, what, who. Who represents those relationships that you were trying to cultivate most in your life? What do you want those relationships to look like?

[00:35:04]In my last podcast, I told you a story about my nephews. Like they're very important to me. I want to have a strong relationship with them, right. I want to have a strong relationship with my siblings. These are relationships that I'm intentional about cultivating. So even when I'm outside of country,  even if we're in different countries, I still come home regularly. I still try and  build those relationships very intentionally because I don't want us to get so wrapped up in trying to build out careers and live our lives that we become so disconnected from each other. 

[00:35:35]I want to be intentional about that. So what are the relationships that matter to you that you are trying to build out in your life? These are really important. 

[00:35:45]Then the final one that I'll say for now is you want to build out a network of people who are a few steps behind you. So the same way you have mentors who are a few steps ahead of you, mentor people who are a few steps behind you, because you will gain and benefit from that mentorship.

[00:36:03] You will benefit from helping people who are trying to go where you want to go. And essentially you will be building out a community of people who you both teach and who you learn from.  You'll find yourself connecting these people and you'll become the connector of people. Once you're asking them what problems they're experiencing, what  obstacles they're experiencing, and this is going to help you grow. It's going to help your network grow. It's going to help you grow as a person. 

[00:36:29] Remember at the beginning of this podcast, I said, if you go into a forest and you live by yourself and you have no access to internet or a phone, how would you make money? How would you go and help people? 

[00:36:41]Realistically, you need to be building relationships every time you're making money. It's all about building relationships with other people. I want you to think about that as you are starting to grow  your career or your business.

[00:36:55] And then the last lesson that I'm going to give you before we wrap up is when I was graduating. And I had the 90 days to find a job or leave the country. One of the things I did is I went to a ton of like career development workshops, anything for newcomers, for recent graduates, any bracket I fell into once they were offering free and I needed it to be like absolutely free services.

[00:37:21] I was trying to go as much as I possibly could. And my friends at the time were making fun of me. They said, you're treating, finding a job. Like it's a job, but in my head, I'm like I have 90 days to find a job or leave the country. You are all like Canadian citizens. Like you don't, this is a different ball game for me.

[00:37:38] It's either I do this or I don't. And you won't be able to see me in this country for a while. Right. And so for me, There were higher stakes at play. They were just trying to find a job. So they had the option of being independent from their parents, financial resources. That wasn't an option for me. I was already independent from my parents' financial resources.

[00:38:00] Like my anyways, I was independent from that. So I needed to find a way to make it work. And I didn't have a fallback financial resource. 

[00:38:08] One, I went to one of these workshops on career development that was offered by my university.  It was a week long workshop and they brought in the speaker to talk about networking. There's one thing that stuck with me the most, there were like 20 of us in this room. He said, I'm going to make you a bet. Statistics, show something like 2% of people actually reach out when someone offers to build a network with them or build a relationship.

[00:38:35] So when  recruiters go to recruiting events only 2%, or it has to be like less than 10% of people who they give out their cards to actually email them.  Everybody who they've given their cards to has in their head, that these recruiters have met so many people. , they must be tired of people messaging them.

[00:38:54] Oh, they're never going, going to remember me because I'm one of a million, I'm one of so many people that have crossed their paths. And he was like, the truth is they typically do. Remember you, especially, if you follow up through LinkedIn where you have a photo of yourself. If they've given you a card and had a conversation, they will have a memory of you, even if that's vague and you can make that memory more vivid as you interact with them, as you pitch how you help and how you can add value and the type of work you're looking for. 

[00:39:24] Don't just say, I want anything say, I want to help people in a specific way, or I want to help companies in this specific way to solve this particular problem. And I've done my research to understand what this problem looks like.

[00:39:36] So that's really important.  He said, I'm going to make you a bet. I'm going to ask all of you to connect with me on LinkedIn at the end of this. And I want you to raise your hand if you're going to do what I say and connect with me on LinkedIn. Almost everybody in the room raise their hand.

[00:39:58]Then he said, the truth is most of you won't connect with me. You won't do it, but that's not the point of this lesson. The point of this lesson is the next time you are networking with somebody and you think, Oh, I'm just one of a million. This person won't remember me. I want you to remember the fact that when I offered to build a network with you, you didn't reach out. The truth is for that person who you're so intimidated to reach out to, they may not be getting as many requests as you think they are. They may not get be getting as many people following up with them to reach out and build a relationship as you think they are. They may be more open to building that relationship than you think they are.

[00:40:41]That was a really big lesson that I learned.  It was one of those things that just stick with you because then I went back and I thought, Oh, when my professor first reached out to me, when I first moved to Canada and that was my first business class that he taught, I didn't follow up. I didn't follow up with him. Now. This guy said, Hey, network with me. And I didn't follow up with him. And all I had to do was initiate a conversation and say, Hey, let's have a chat and then prepare a few questions and then talk.  I just didn't do it. I didn't do it. And the truth was, he said he had a ton of networks.

[00:41:15] He said, tell me what type of work you're looking for. And at that point I was desperately looking for work. But I still let my fear of networking and my fear of like, Oh, he'd never have time for me. Stop me from reaching out. So the biggest thing that I want you to take from this is that you shouldn't let that happen. 

[00:41:35]You're listening to the happy career formula 

[00:41:38] with Jette Stubbs 

[00:41:39] where we talk about how to find what you love to do and turn it into ways to make money, whether that's a job, freelance service or a business, so you can live life on your own terms. 

[00:41:50]this is a career in business podcast, but my two main goals for what I want to offer you are: one  the tools to build a career that aligns with who you are.

[00:42:02] So you can make money in a way that funds your life goals and the lifestyle that you want to build for yourself. Two, to have healthier relationships with yourself and others. 

[00:42:12] Because I think that if you have your financial resources together and you have good people around you, you can live a happier life.

[00:42:21] Subscribe and leave a review. If you are enjoying the podcast.