Happy Career Formula with Jette Stubbs

9. How to set expectations, so you can build success and avoid the fear of failure with Ben Winter

April 07, 2021 Jette Stubbs Season 1 Episode 9
9. How to set expectations, so you can build success and avoid the fear of failure with Ben Winter
Happy Career Formula with Jette Stubbs
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Happy Career Formula with Jette Stubbs
9. How to set expectations, so you can build success and avoid the fear of failure with Ben Winter
Apr 07, 2021 Season 1 Episode 9
Jette Stubbs

Am I being realistic? Am I limiting myself and my goals? How do I know if this will work? On the show, you'll learn how to set expectations, so you can build success and avoid the fear of failure. Ben Winter is the author of What to Expect When Having Expectations.  Ben Winter is an Author, Speaker, Actor, Improvist, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Father, and much much more. He loves to explore, yes, physical places around the world, but also he loves to explore the mind.

Find Ben Winter at havingexpectations.com and successimprov.com

Show Notes Transcript

Am I being realistic? Am I limiting myself and my goals? How do I know if this will work? On the show, you'll learn how to set expectations, so you can build success and avoid the fear of failure. Ben Winter is the author of What to Expect When Having Expectations.  Ben Winter is an Author, Speaker, Actor, Improvist, Entrepreneur, Traveler, Father, and much much more. He loves to explore, yes, physical places around the world, but also he loves to explore the mind.

Find Ben Winter at havingexpectations.com and successimprov.com

9. How to manage expectations (Ben Winter)

Jette Stubbs:  we can live lives where we feel like our needs are being met, and we feel like we are getting and achieving what we want out of life. So how do we go about doing that? 

[00:00:09] Today, we're going to be speaking with Ben winters from successimprov.com  and having expectations.com.

[00:00:16] And he is going to be speaking to you about how to understand and manage your expectations because expectations cut across all areas of our life. From career to business, to relationships, the personal and the professional. We all have expectations that we are bringing to the table and we need to know  how to set and how to manage our expectations.   

[00:00:38]That's what we're going to talk about today.

[00:00:40] He's going to give us specific scenarios that apply to networking and building relationships to salary negotiations, to sales calls. To understanding how expectations affect your relationship with your partner or your loved one. 

[00:00:53] So if you have ever had questions about how you go about building better relationships with people, with your loved ones, with your supervisor, with your employees, with your colleagues, with your teammates.  How do you go about setting effective expectations?

[00:01:10] This episode is for you. .

[00:01:12]You're listening to the happy career formula 

[00:01:15] with Jette Stubbs 

[00:01:16] where we talk about how to find what you love to do and turn it into ways to make money, whether that's a job, freelance service or a business, so you can live life on your own terms.  

[00:01:27]So Ben, I'm really excited to have you on the podcast today. Can you tell me a bit about yourself and what you do? 

[00:01:36] Ben Winters: Yeah. 

[00:01:36] So my name is Ben winter, and I am the owner of a company called success improv. And through there I've done a bunch of different things, including writing several books. And one of them is my absolute favorite topic to talk about, which is expectations.

[00:01:52] And so the book is called what to expect when having expectations and because I'm a student of human minds and I love exploring what people think do, why they act, how they act and all that fun stuff. I found a little niche here in the world of expectations, so that's the quick and dirty, straight to it.

[00:02:12]Jette Stubbs: So what are some of the biggest things that you find when people are building out their careers or they're building out a business? How do expectations affect 

[00:02:20] Ben Winters: that?  

[00:02:20] In every aspect possible. I know it's a little broad, but let me explain. So whenever we want something, we have expectations about how it comes to be what we get.

[00:02:33]If we want a job, we expect to find the job of our dreams at the price we never expected to, or the salary that we never expected or that we really want. But. Whatever if we start our own business, we expect to open up the doors and be another next successful millionaire, like in month number one.

[00:02:51]Well, you know, I am in year 11, I think, and I still am not there. It's, we all have those expectations and, as soon as they start going on met. And then when we start to settle for less or, we get upset cause we're not finding what we want. And so they absolutely play an aspect in every aspect of what it is that we're looking to achieve.

[00:03:16] Jette Stubbs: And what do you think are some of the benefits of managing your expectations or setting those expectations effectively? What have you seen being the biggest changes for people when they start to have more realistic? Or how would you use the word realistic or what, how would you describe it?

[00:03:31] Ben Winters: I think the first thing people have to understand is that when they get upset, that is a great moment in time to explore what the expectation is, because maybe it's not reasonable. Maybe you had an expectation you didn't even know about, and now you have to take a step back and say, okay, where does that expectation come from?

[00:03:50] Is it a reasonable expectation? And really just dive in from there because. If you didn't know you had the expectation and I are upset, you can stop and say. All right. Am I getting that because of my mom? Because my dad, because of the kids I hung out with when I was at or TV that I was watching, I grew up in, I heard the word business owner and I immediately thought super successful millionaire.

[00:04:18] Because on TV, that's what you see the successful business owners with their commercials on, and you're like if you can afford a commercial on TV, it must be, wildly successful, and now that I'm out in this world and everybody's starting a business left and right, and that, I don't know where you are, but in Colorado, I think it takes about 50 bucks.

[00:04:37]To register your company with the secretary of state. Now you're a business owner. So it doesn't take much to become a business owner. And so now I know that most business owners are not at that high level. And so when I started, I, I had that expectations, sweet. I'm going to be, really well off and I'm going to be big business owner.

[00:04:56] Whoo. And it just didn't happen. I would tell people. It's okay. To be upset. Just take a step back from that moment in time and check in. Is it a reasonable expectation? Did you know you're going to have it in the first place and if it's not reasonable here, you're now an adult. You can choose to change that expectation.

[00:05:16]Jette Stubbs:  So you said a lot of really great points. 

[00:05:21] Ben Winters: You get me going and I'm going, 

[00:05:23] Jette Stubbs: it's really good. 

[00:05:24] So how do you start to set reasonable expectations. Cause one of the things is when you're get getting to something new, like when you were getting into entrepreneurship, you're basing it off of what around you.

[00:05:33]How do you go about saying, okay, this is a more reasonable expectation or how do you go about setting goals that are more reasonable. How would you go about identifying that? 

[00:05:43] Ben Winters: If you don't know if your expectation is reasonable or not, that is a great time to find a mentor, a coach, somebody to bounce the ideas off of.

[00:05:51] For example, you're a coach, and so if I came to you and I said I've got this idea. I think it's going to take $300 million. And I'm sure there's somebody in, down the street, that's got that kind of money to invest in me. You'd be like Whoa, take a step back. Why is it 300 million? And can you start smaller and work your way up to 300 million?

[00:06:10] Does it have to be one investor? Can it be. 10,000 investors, let's walk through some options and maybe your goal is set way too high. Maybe you have to start smaller and work your way up. And not that somebody should stop you from getting your $300 million goal, but at the same time, they might have other ideas on how to achieve it.

[00:06:28] They might Help you work through the problem so that you can see, Oh, maybe I don't want this $300 million thing. I just want this. That's going to launch me to that point. And so that's where a mentor where a coach or somebody else that's done, what you've done can provide lots of information.

[00:06:46]Jette Stubbs: That's really good. I have a follow up question. So when you're trying to find this mentor or this coach, a lot of people will try and shoot for the stars and they'll try and find like the CEO of a billion dollar company and reach out and say, can you be my mentor? Or can you be my coach?

[00:07:02] Do you have time for me? How do you. Like, how do you even go about choosing who's an effective mentor for you to give you some realistic expectations? One of the things I struggled with when I was trying to switch from a job to entrepreneurship is I found that some people that were giving me advice about what is realistic had never even.

[00:07:21]Considered entrepreneurship before they were T they were almost talking to me for a point of their own fears. Don't do it, stay in the job with the pension. You're so young and you have such an amazing job already. So what are some things like when you're choosing who you get this advice from on what is a realistic expectation?

[00:07:38] What are some things that you'd recommend that people look for? 

[00:07:41] Ben Winters: That is the most perfect question ever. The best thing I've ever heard is that when you're getting advice, consider the source. So if you're talking to somebody about an entrepreneurial ship life, and they're not an entrepreneur, don't take their advice.

[00:07:55] They don't have any idea what they're talking about. Now, if you have somebody that's been an entrepreneur for 30, 40 years, they've got some great advice for you. I've been an entrepreneur for 11 years. I've got some great advice for people. Have I found all the answers. Absolutely not. So I would appreciate, I hate that with saying, find multiple mentors finds out why they're a suitable mentor.

[00:08:20]And yeah, everybody would love to have Steve jobs or he's dead obviously, but like Elon Musk or, all these billionaires will you be my mentor? You're not ready for that kind of mentorship. You have to be a millionaire. You have to be a multi-millionaire. You have to have a hundred million dollars.

[00:08:36] Before you can go to a billionaire and say, I have a hundred million, how do I get to a billion? If you're not at the six figure Mark, find somebody who's making six figures and see how they got there. If you're making six figures and you want a million, find somebody who's making a million, you got to take steps to get to where you want to go.

[00:08:53]I, if somebody came to me and said, Ben, how do I make $10 million? And be like, I have no idea. I've never done it. I can give you ideas that I think might work, but clearly I have no experience in making $10 million. So I'm the wrong person to ask. But everybody has an opinion. So you're going to get advice if you ask somebody for it, whether it's legitimate or not consider the source.

[00:09:17] Jette Stubbs: Okay. Thank you so much. And how do you know the difference between when you're setting like a realistic expectation versus when you're limiting yourself? And creating boundaries like a false boundary for 

[00:09:29] Ben Winters: yourself.

[00:09:30]I think it just takes practice. I think you have to fail a few times to know yeah, that was way too ridiculous. Or that wasn't enough of a goal. I struggle with that myself and I think part of the issue is that if you always set your goals too far or not achievable, you'll stop setting goals.

[00:09:48] Cause you never get them. If you're always getting your goals and they're always too easy. You're. What'd you keep setting them just cause it's like I, know, I put it on the list. I checked it off at the end of the day, who, okay. It's it's an okay habit, but how are you going to stretch yourself?

[00:10:04] So it's finding that balance for yourself. You want to stretch yourself, but you want to actually get goals at the same time. Cause again, the more times you don't get your goals, the less you're going to set them because I don't get them. So why set them. 

[00:10:17] Jette Stubbs: How did you get into this field?

[00:10:20] Like what would you call this field expectations management? What would you call it? How did you get 

[00:10:25] Ben Winters: into it? The field I'm in is team building. So I teach team building to corporations using the tools and techniques of improv throughout that teaching process. I kept coming across this moment in time through one of the rules that the only reason anybody gets upset is because an expectation hasn't been met.

[00:10:44] And I was like, okay, cool. I have a, I finally have a saying, I have a quote. People can quote me. And then I was like what do I do with that quote? Like I have to solve it now. So I can have, I came up with this flow chart and said, okay, you're upset from an expectation. So Did you know, you had the expectation, is it reasonable?

[00:11:02] Have you shared it with others, et cetera, et cetera. So this flow chart exists and I was like, okay, there's so much more depth to every question there every time you say no did I know I had the expectation? If you didn't know, you had the expectation, there's so much depth right there. I then decided I just needed to write a book about it.

[00:11:18] And so the book is out there as a self-help book. So I'm a, self-help published author as well as a team building coach and so on. So it's multiple categories, all shoved together into one.

[00:11:32]Jette Stubbs: That's okay. That's amazing. So I have some questions about when you are like setting expectations for, with other people. Cause I think you touched on something that's really important. Often we set expectations, but we don't communicate them to people who are supposed to be helping us meet those expectations.

[00:11:51] So how can we tell when we are communicating effectively and not just pushing or forcing our expectations on other people without communicating them? 

[00:12:00] Ben Winters: Yeah. So the flow chart I have more or less, and the book really just resolves that. The first thing is. Most of the time when we're upset, when we get upset, because an expectation wasn't met most of the time, we didn't even know we had the expectation.

[00:12:16] So right there, if you didn't even know you had the expectation, how could you have communicated it with somebody else? So if you have an expectation of. Someone in your house. And you didn't know, you even had the expectation. There's no way you can be upset with them for not doing their part. They didn't even know they had a part to play, let alone what that part was.

[00:12:36] Now, if you knew what the expectation was, and they're still not doing their part, did you tell them they had a part to play and then if they had a part to play and you told them, did they agree to it? Maybe they had a different expectation, the. So one example I love referring to it's in the book is, you've got the husband and wife, the husband's watching a football game, the wife's making dinner.

[00:12:58]And she's honey, could you take out the trash okay. Expectations set. And he may say, yeah, I'll take out the trash. Okay. Expectations set. She asked, he said, yes. But she didn't say when and she wanted it right now and he's watching the game and that's very important game.

[00:13:17]You can't interrupt that. And so it becomes this kind of she gets more and more upset as time goes on and she's he's now ignoring me. No, you didn't specify what he didn't ask, but you didn't say either. So you're both at fault for this escalating situation only. He doesn't know it's escalating because he doesn't know that you're upset because he's watching the game.

[00:13:39] He has every intention of taking out the trash, but he's not. Because he's watching the game. So had she said, honey, I need you to take out the trash right now because we have guests coming over and I just put fish guts and everything in the trash. And I don't want the house to smell when the company comes over, he could say, okay, that makes sense.

[00:13:55] Give me two minutes. There'll be a commercial. I'll take the trash out much more. Information involved, much more specific. And now he knows what her expectation is. He's bought into it. He's negotiated a little bit of space there, like two minutes and she said fine. So now if he doesn't do it in two minutes, then she has another reason to get upset because he didn't do anything.

[00:14:21] But that gives her an opportunity to say, Hey, you've said, you said two minutes. What are you doing? And I can go from there, but ideally at that point, it's not going to be an issue because they've communicated. They've agreed. They've negotiated and it's out there. 

[00:14:38] Jette Stubbs: Okay. I think that's awesome advice. And I love how specific that example was.

[00:14:41] So I took a few things away from that. One is you need to be specific about what you're asking for, and then two, you need to set a timeframe. Is there anything else that you think is really important when people are setting expectations with each other? 

[00:14:55] Ben Winters: Yeah, give yourself a break. Most people aren't good at communicating.

[00:14:58] Like we, as a society sucked at communicating these days. We have email, we have texts, we have everything under in our tool belts, and yet we suck at actually saying, Hey. In voice communication with inflection, what is necessary what's needed. So you might forget something the first time you asked somebody to do something at the same time, when you ask somebody to do something, if you want them to do it a certain way, but you don't tell them you want it to do it in that way, then you have to take a step back and say, is it my expectation that's the only way it can be done?

[00:15:34] Or is there a possibility that it could be done 1600. Different ways and that's how they're going to do it. They're going to do it their own way, or is it I, or do they absolutely have to do it the way that you want them to do it? In which case do you have another expectation to share? And sometimes we're going to forget the details that we want to share with somebody.

[00:15:54] And so when they don't do it, How we want them or when we want them, we have to come back through that whole system again and say, you know what? I asked you to take out the trash, but I forgot to tell you when I forgot to tell you why now is when I need it taken out. Like I forgot to share the details and it just becomes a practice.

[00:16:14] And then over time you start to see yourself. Oh, I just asked somebody to do something. But I didn't share everything that was on my mind. So let me go back to them and make sure it doesn't escalate out of control. Okay. 

[00:16:29] Jette Stubbs: I think th thank you again for that. That's an amazing example. So if you are. If you're trying to share your expectation, how do you start to draw the line between, Hey, I'm giving you too much information or I'm asking for too much from you and people are saying, Oh your expectations are unrealistic.

[00:16:46] You just accept that at face value. If somebody says your expectation is unrealistic or it's like, how do you, is there room for negotiation around expectations? And how do you do that? 

[00:16:55] Ben Winters: But you said it right there, negotiation. That's all it is. You gotta, if you share your expectation and the other person's Whoa.

[00:17:03] Ah, now you're in, what's called negotiation. That's okay. I don't want to go to dinner with your friends tonight, but I told them you would be there, but I don't want to go. Okay. So can we go for an hour? Can you go by yourself? There's a conversation that happens. Hey, you didn't tell me that we were going to go for at all.

[00:17:22] And now you're springing it on me five minutes before we're leaving. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There's a conversation that has to happen. And sometimes we do come up with the most unreasonable expectations of other people, and it is a matter of negotiating at that point. Now, hopefully both people are willing to set those boundaries and say, or we need to negotiate.

[00:17:43] Unfortunately, in a lot of relationships, the one person has all the expectations with all of the. This is what I need you to do. And the other person's okay I'm used to being walked on. So go ahead and walk all over me and I'll say yes to whatever. And unfortunately, those people don't really have a good life either because they're never getting what they want.

[00:18:01] Cause they're always. Succumbing to what the other person wants. So in a healthy relationship, both people have expectations. They negotiate those expectations. They work together. But it doesn't always work that way. So sometimes we have to reel ourselves in and say, Ooh, the look on their face just said, I'm piling too much on them.

[00:18:19] Maybe I'm being unreasonable. So 

[00:18:22] Jette Stubbs: I love it. And when you are setting expectations, let's say you're an employee and you're trying to set expectations for what you can perform for, with your supervisor. And you were trying to. Say, okay. I can get this amount done or I would like to get a raise. And that's part of your expectation.

[00:18:39] You want a salary increase? How do you, how would you navigate that conversation now that you've been probably on both sides of it. I'm assuming you were employee at some point before you were an entrepreneur. So now that you've been on both sides of it, how would you navigate that? To understand the expectations that are happening on both sides?

[00:18:55] Ben Winters: So that is a tricky one because as an employee, we always have this fear of. If I go to my boss and I asked for a raise, or I say that I'm not able to do all the work you're assigning, like maybe I'll get fired. We always go to the worst case scenario, don't say anything, you'll get fired.

[00:19:09]Hopefully you don't have a boss like that. You want to set a time and an agenda. When you set a meeting with the bus, you say, Hey, can I have a half hour of your time? I want to talk about blank, and blank. So then you're not jumping. On them with unknown information for that 30 minutes, they know what to expect when you go into that meeting and, just have open communication.

[00:19:30] Just say, my goal at some point in the next six months is to get a rates. What do I need to do to get there? What do you need to see for me to. Justify a rates, et cetera, et cetera, have that conversation. You want to put some onus on them of providing what's necessary. Don't just say I'd like a raise.

[00:19:49] Can you give me one? Cause they can easily say no, but if you say my goal is to have one in six months what do I need to do for you? And what do you need to see for me? Because then that tells them you're giving me a raise in six months. You just have to tell me what it takes to get there. And, hopefully the boss will see that and say okay let's figure out what it will take.

[00:20:09]And as as the boss, it's you've gotta be open and clear as to what's happening. There was one point when I was trying to get a raise and they said we're S we're freezing all salaries. Otherwise we have to lay people off. This was back in I feel like 2008 or something, when everything was going to go into crap and it's we'd rather not lay off anybody and just keep salaries where they are, or we can give some people raises and lay people off.

[00:20:32] And it's okay yeah, I'd rather keep my job. Sometimes that is what's happening. Sometimes there isn't an option for a raise because the company is struggling. And as an employee, sometimes we don't know that. But as the employer, you gotta do your part too. If somebody has been working well and they're showing the initiative and they want something work with them and you have to talk, you have to have that negotiation and you have to come to some terms.

[00:20:54] Maybe it's not six months, maybe it's nine months and maybe they have to do twice as much as the employee thought they would have to do. If the workload is too high, No. Just say this is what's on my workload and this is what I think I can get done in a day. Do you have, do you want to prioritize or do you have a priority order for this?

[00:21:16] Is there somebody else that can take something that I'm not able to get done in a reasonable timeframe? Helped me figure out what the best approach is. You don't want to be asked, you don't want to ask your boss to micromanage you, but at the same time, if you can demonstrate, Hey. I'm overworked.

[00:21:31] We need to hire somebody else to come in and take all this extra work so that I'm not working 12 hour days, because that's not what anybody signs up to do. What can we do? And cause sometimes the boss won't even realize Oh, you're working on 16 projects while Joe over there is working on three.

[00:21:48]Okay. Joe come in here. Like now maybe Joe's three projects are the same amount of work as 20 projects that James is working on. But until the boss sees and understands what the frustrations are for people, you just don't know. 

[00:22:02] Jette Stubbs: Okay. And I have another scenario for you. So you're going out and you're at a networking event and you're trying to build a relationship.

[00:22:10] What expectations do you think are at play when you are trying to build new relationships and going out to people? 

[00:22:18] Ben Winters: So I think the expectation. So when I ever go to a networking event, I always have the expectation of, I just want to meet people, find out more about them and who I can connect them with. I always treat it from the standpoint of how can I help somebody else, if they don't ever ask me what I do.

[00:22:36]Then they're there for themselves and I get it. But if it's becomes a two-way street, then I know we're talking, we're building a relationship or kind of understanding each other and what might happen in the night as I might meet John over here and Mary over here and by meeting both of them, I'm like those two need to meet.

[00:22:54] I'll bring them together. And if they create some magic business somewhere, they're going to remember, Oh yeah, Ben. Made sure we connect it. I never go to a networking event expecting to find business that day, finding the next power partner. That's going to give me all the business I ever need if it happens great.

[00:23:12]But it's just about connecting with people, getting to know them, finding out what makes them tick. And I think that's what networking should be. I have definitely had the people that walked up and say, hi, here's my card. When you need new phone service, you call me right away and have a good night and they walk away.

[00:23:28]Their car doesn't really last long in my hand at that point. Sorry I don't know who you are. I have no reason to trust you because. You all you did was hand me a card and that was it. And a lot of, now with so many things online, so many scans, so many everything we want that know and trust factor before we're all other do business with somebody, Amazon, we know.

[00:23:50] Some people like it, some don't, but we know Amazon. We know that if we buy something and it doesn't work, we get a refund like that. He could send it back and it was, and there was nothing wrong with it. You get a refund, like we know Amazon, we trust Amazon. They've created that model. And so we're happy to buy from Amazon.

[00:24:07] So somebody who walks in the door, slams a card in my face and walks away. I have no trust. I don't even know who you are. All I know is you gave me a card. So the expectations at networking events should really just be, who are you? What makes you tick? Why are you doing what you're doing? Because why you're selling phone service is totally more interesting than you're selling phone service.

[00:24:31] So let's start there. 

[00:24:34] Jette Stubbs: I love it. I actually, a lot of those examples that you gave about going out and asking people what what they want and asking what makes the person tick or like essential lessons that I teach people when they're networking. Because I think too many people, if they're looking for a job, they'll say I want a job.

[00:24:51] And that's it. They won't ask, Hey, what are you hiring for? What problems do you want to solve? And if they're for a business, if they're trying to go out there and build relationships or build potential partnerships, They just say, I want I think too many people say I want, instead of I can help you.

[00:25:05]And yeah, what you said was, so it was right on point, so that was amazing. So I, I do have another scenario for you. This is going to be the last you've been really good at like just answering, but in different scenarios on the spot for you. So let's say. You're in a sales call with a client. What do you think are some of the expectations that are happening during that sales call?

[00:25:34]Cause it's very similar to salary negotiations, but it's different. But what are some expectations that you think are playing out and how does it differ? And how do you have that conversation? How would you go about 

[00:25:44] Ben Winters: that? So a sales call. Hopefully in this scenario, a sales call is you're wanting to make a sale.

[00:25:52] The client wants to buy something. Okay. Hopefully you're at that point. So the expectations, the underlying expectations are, I don't want it to cost much. But I want this thing to solve my problem. I want you to pay what this product is worth, and I hope it solves your problem. So that the common thing there is, we hope it solves the problem.

[00:26:13] We hope this is a good fit, because if it's not a good fit, there's no sale. So as long as I've got the widgets to solve your problem, we're going to be able to move forward and usually price comes into it at some level, sometimes it doesn't, but most of the time it does. And so the expectations from the salesman or the sales person is to.

[00:26:33] Convey the value. Like you have to convey the value so that no matter what the price is, they're going to want to pay it because they see the value. Now the other person, their expectation is how can I get this to solve my problem for the least amount of money possible. And, from there you just it's negotiation.

[00:26:53] It's, Okay, so your widget does ABC and D but I don't need D is there a way to, can drop D off and pay less? Oh, w we only sell it in packages of ABC and D we don't have an ABC package. Oh would you be willing to create an ABC package and price it accordingly? Okay. I can go back to the team and see if that's possible, blah, blah, blah.

[00:27:14]How do we find the middle ground so that, Hey, we get the sale and. Then be resolved the problem. So that's the, there's so many nuances to sales but those are like the underlying expectations. 

[00:27:29]Jette Stubbs: Can you tell me a bit more about success improv? Like in what 

[00:27:32] Ben Winters: that is?

[00:27:33] Yeah. So the team building that I teach, I use the tools and techniques of improv. So I've been part of an improv troupe for over a decade. And when we performed together, we just, everything flows. It's just, it's a beautiful thing. And we've built it. This amazing team of actors who can do improv together.

[00:27:54] Now, the reason that we are as successful as we are, is because we follow the same set of rules. So if you ever see an improv show, that's absolutely brilliant. And you're like, how did they do that? Because they didn't have a script. It's because they were following a simple set of rules that all improv is follow.

[00:28:12] Now, if you see an improv show and it's another train wreck, and it was the worst thing you've ever seen, one or multiple of the actors on stage were not following those rules. And those same rules apply in business and in life. So you don't need to be on stage to follow the rules of improv, to have a better life, to have a better team, to have a better work environment.

[00:28:34] And success improv, we just teach those tools and techniques of improv to make the work environment a better place to work and for teams to work better together, to create more innovation in the company and just more success in general. 

[00:28:51] Jette Stubbs: Okay. That's amazing. Yes. Success improv. So you got into improv and then you turned it into team building team building, coaching, and then based on your team building coaching.

[00:29:03]You saw that people were having all of these unrealistic expectations that connected to improv and the lessons that you learned in improv. And now you're tying it into expectations management to help people because expectations cut across all areas of our life. Did I follow that 

[00:29:19] Ben Winters: correctly? Okay.

[00:29:21] That's a great summation of it. Yes. 

[00:29:24]Jette Stubbs: I love it. So where can people find you? Yeah. How can you help them? What are some things that you can offer?

[00:29:32] Ben Winters: So there's a couple of websites that I have. The first one is success, improv.com. So that's the team building website. Success improv is the company. Success improv.com is the website. The other website, which is having expectations.com is where the book is information about the book. You can hear all the podcasts that I've been a part of on there.

[00:29:52]You can buy that. Find links for the book or books that I have on there that go to Amazon and that's that's it. So having expectations.com and success, improv.com. 

[00:30:01] Jette Stubbs: Okay. That's amazing. So success improv.com and having expectations.com and your book. You can find it anywhere, Amazon, all the major distributors. Okay. 

[00:30:13] Thank you so much, man. This was wonderful. Thank you so much.


[00:30:17] Ben Winters: Yeah. Thanks for having me.

[00:30:19]Jette Stubbs: So, you know, that flowchart, that Ben winter mentioned that helps you navigate. If you're having realistic expectations, it seemed like it would be really helpful. So I asked him at the end of the call and he said, it's. Both inside his book, having expectations, but it's also freely available at havingexpectations.com.

[00:30:41] So if you want to look at how you are  setting your expectations, and honestly, a lot of the things that he said so closely aligned with some of the things that I've already said on this podcast and some of the things I believe in And I have just met Ben and I found what he was doing really interesting.

[00:30:57] So I'm glad that he was willing to come here and talk to you and share with you how you can improve, how you think about expectations within your life. So until next time. 

[00:31:08]You're listening to the happy career formula 

[00:31:11] with Jette Stubbs 

[00:31:12] where we talk about how to find what you love to do and turn it into ways to make money, whether that's a job, freelance service or a business, so you can live life on your own terms. 

[00:31:23]this is a career and business podcast, but my two main goals for what I want to offer you are: one  the tools to build a career that aligns with who you are.

[00:31:35] So you can make money in a way that funds your life goals and the lifestyle that you want to build for yourself. Two, to have healthier relationships with yourself and others. 

[00:31:46] Because I think that if you have your financial resources together and you have good people around you, you can live a happier life.

[00:31:54]Subscribe and leave a review if you are enjoying the podcast.

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